Twenty Nine

This has been my circle around the sun that has gone the least like what I expected or even had the capacity to imagine. What a thing it is to be thoroughly surprised by a life. 

I’m exactly 16 days late in posting this, but I’m feeling pretty confident that 2020 was the year time was cancelled anyway.

Here’s a random list of things I would have liked to tell myself 381 days ago, if I could hit rewind: 

  1. It’s really important that you speak up about the days that are filled with joy, gratitude and bliss – talking it out does not just apply to the things that are hard. Sharing your light is just as raw and vulnerable as sharing your struggle.
  2. Your biggest relationships have always held up the mirror for you to see and approach your own work. They’re not around to fix anything, like country music and the entire movie industry desperately cons you into wanting to believe. These souls are your teachers, not your saviors.
  3. Sisterhood and chosen family are still the most magnificent pieces of being alive that I’ve known to date.
  4. Even people you love and respect tremendously will not understand or agree with all of your choices. Very well then, it’s probably a very good sign that you’re living your own life and not theirs.
  5. It’s okay – and necessary – to trust your happiness. Buoying above the things that feel too good to be true is a very direct path to not being present for any of it. Hope in these moments is still the most brave and vulnerable thing we do.
  6. Your saying Yes to things that feel like a “yes” inside will allow you to keep living a really interesting story (and well done in this category this year, by the way). Be proud of the yesses that you’ve chosen over the past 365 days solely because your only guide was your own Knowing and apparently insatiable curiosity about the human journey.
  7. This is the year of life you will start groaning unexpectedly when bending down to pick things up – it will catch you off guard and it’s probably easiest if you just accept that that’s where we’re at here. (Also, maybe good to note that it wouldn’t hurt to continue increasing the yoga).
  8. Make all the plans you want, but don’t get attached to the result or the timeline. It’s important that you’re training to move side to side as quickly as you want to move forward.
  9. Very few things were ever made worse by taking two minutes to sit down and focus on your breathing. Exceptions include, but are not limited to: food poisoning emergencies, house fires, operating a motor vehicle.
  10. You get to sign your own fcking permission slip.

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